After I said goodbye to Mark and Jen, I decided to head back out to the cayes, this time to visit the supposedly laid-back backpacker destination of Caye Caulker. I had been told by many that I would definitely enjoy Caye Caulker. Laid back, slow-paced, and lots of ganja-smoking rastafarians. Little did I know that the island had more in store for me than I could have expected...
As soon as I got off the water taxi and stepped onto Caye Caulker, I was immediately accosted by a variety of locals who either wanted to carry my luggage, give me a lift in a golf cart, or bring me to a hotel, which was always "the best deal on the island". Having already been travelling Guatemala and Belize for almost two months, this was nothing new. However, normally a smile and firm "no thanks, I'm good man" usually gets rid of whoever is harrassing you. I would have especially figured this to be the case in the self-promoted laid-back atmosphere of Caye Caulker. To the contrary, after telling a dreadlocked local that I wanted to look around the island a bit first, he immediately got aggressive and essentially started verbally abusing me. "Chill out man, this isn't Mexico or Guatemala, I'm not trying to rob you. This dude is jumpy man, really jumpy. I'm not trying to rob you dude, what's your problem?" Not having expected such a response, I was sort of dumbfounded as to how to deflate the situation, so I sort of just laughed it off and told him I was cool, and didn't think he was trying to rob me. Instead of chilling out, he instead shouted out to his buddies on the beach about how jumpy I was. When he saw me walking down the street later that day, he would do the same again, yelling at me and telling his cracked-out buddies what had happened earlier...
Although I was a little thrown-off about my first experience on the so-called "laid-back" Caye Caulker, I also had to laugh at most of his statements. In all my time in Guatemala (and since then in Mexico), he was the only local who has harrassed me for not being interested in a service, and one of only a hanful who I figured was trying to screw me. Last but not least, if anyone was jumpy, I'm going to have to say it was him. Oh well, I guess that's what too much cocaine does to you I guess.
After shaking my sketchy friend, I walked a few steps down the beach to Tina's Backpackers Hostel, which had been noted as the best place to stay on the island by my guidebook. From the outside, Tina's looked great, with a hammock-clad dock, a sandy lounge area right on the beach, and cheap prices. Plus, the new friends I had made on the boat from Belize City were staying there too, and there was only one dorm bed left - it had to be a good place. Little did I know that my time at Tina's would follow me all the way to Mexico, literally.
Tina's had a sign in the courtyard that said to check your mental luggage at the door, and that's exactly what I was there to do, so it sounded perfect. However, on my first night I was awoken in the wee hours of the morning to the loud arguments in my dorm. "There are bugs everywhere, this is disgusting," shouted one girl. The guy under my top bunk didn't believe her until he got up and checked it out for him. "Oh shit, they are everywhere..." I clicked on my headlock and gave my own bed a check, but after not finding anything I popped in my earplugs and went back to bed.
The next morning, everyone moved out of that dorm except for me. Some left the hostel, others just moved rooms, but of course I decided to stay since I hadn't had any problems with my bed. Rookie move. The next night, a groups of Swedes moved into the room and, once again, I was awoken in the night to the bed bug argument. The next morning, they were gone too. I was the only one left in the dorm, and the manager said that they would let me have the dorm to myself. Perfection! Still not having seen any bugs in my own bed, or been bitten at all, I figured there were no problems... Once again, rookie move.
On my second last day, the cleaners had attempted to solve the bug problem by changing all the sheets and putting ripped plastic covers over the mattresses. The also convieniently decided to change around the layout of all the beds, and so I no longer knew which bed I had slept in all week. Wonderful! That night, I found a few bugs, but managed to get to sleep after squishing them and checking all of my covers. However, on the last night I wasn't so lucky...
I tried to shut them out of my mind, but it wasn't working. They were everywhere. I could see them crawling across all of the other beds, and I must have killed about a dozen of them. Worst of all, for the first real time, I found them in my own bunk. Not being able to shake the thought of being eaten all night, and having my clothes infiltrated, I decided to try to move outside. The hammock on the second floor had a huge hole in it, a drunken Brit was sleeping in the other one, and I figured that I was just asking for trouble by sleeping on the mattress in the sand, so I moved to the dock hammocks. Normally I wouldn't think that sleeping on a hammock on the beach would be such a good idea, but a bunch of other guys from the hostel had done it all week, so I figured I would be safe enough. Plus, at that particular moment I was willing to take my chances at being mugged in order to avoid bed bugs. Little did I know that this decision would bring about a wonderfully awkward situation that will probably make one of the funniest tales of my trip.
It took awhile, but I finally fell asleep in my hammock. Swaying in the warm night's breeze, with nothing but a palapa roof and thousands of stars above me, it was all good until I was awoken at about 4am by the sound of someone getting into an adjacent hammock. At first I didn't really notice it, but when I opened my eyes a crack to see if someone was there, the guy next to me seemed to be staring at me. Too tired to care at that point, I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep. A minute later, I heard the guy making those throat-clearing noises, the ones that you try to get someone's attention with. I rolled over, and groggily opened my eyes to see my hammock neighbour sitting up and looking at me. He was about my age, so I figured he was staying at the hostel as well. "Could I have some of that water?" he asked, pointing to the big jug I had brought out to the dock. I passed him the jug, and sat up to rub my eyes. "I hope I'm not disturbing you man, if you want I can leave," he said. Obviously he had disturbed me, you know, seeing as how I was sleeping at all. However, not wanting to be rude, I told him it wasn't a problem. "I just got back from the beach bar, I wanted to go to another one but it was closed," he told me. Well yeah, it's 4am. Things were closed at this hour. He was friendly enough, so I let him continue his attempt to engage in conversation, although I kept my answers short and closed-ended, hoping he would leave and let me go back asleep. I soon found out that he was a local who had lived on Caye Caulker for awhile now, and he asked me where I was from. At that point, the conversation began to get a little strange, and I will recount it to the best of my abilities as follows, including my sleep-deprived thought process and the context at that point in time.
Guy - So are you travelling alone, or with your girlfriend.
Derek - Yeah, I'm travelling alone, my girlfriend is back home in Montreal.
G - So you do have a girlfriend back home?
D - Yeah.
*At this point, I am too tired to think anything strange is happening*
...
G - Yeah, I'm from Caye Caulker, I've been here a few years. How do you like it here?
D - It's really chill, people are laid back. It's cool. (I decide not to tell him about uptight rastaman)
G - Yeah, but people here are weird sometimes. They judge alot. Like if you're straight, gay, or bisexual and stuff.
D - (*Slightly confused at how this has come up in our conversation*) Oh... yeah? ... That's weird...
G - Yeah, you know, I don't judge people. It's cool, I don't care if people are straight, gay, or bi.
D - (*Still confused*) Yeah, for sure... It's all good right. (*Not knowing what to say*) It's all peace and love (*What a Hollywood-hippy answer*).
*Guy proceeds to ask me "How do you like Caye Caulker?"about four more times in the next few minutes, leading me to believe he is somewhat drunk. I am somewhat thrown off by his previous comments, but still quite tired and confused.*
...
G - (*Out of nowhere*) So do you consider yourself straight, gay, or bi?
D - (*Now quite confused, not only as to the question but why this guy I met 5 minutes ago is asking me [although I probably haven't have been confused at this point as to why he was asking me]) Um. I'm straight. I have a girlfriend back home. (*I do not reciprocate his question*)
*After an awkward pause, the conversation changes again. At some point, I tell him it is my last night on the island, and that I am leaving to Mexico the next day with friends. By now, I realize I am being hit on for the first time in my travels, and by a guy at that. Wonderful. Nonetheless, I do not feel that uncomfortable, just confused, and still wanting to go to bed.*
...
G - (*After asking me a few more times how I like Caye Caulker so far*) So what kind of things have you done here in Caye Caulker?
D - (*Short answers, get him to leave so I can go back to bed*) You know, just chilling really, hanging out at the Split, swimming. It's all pretty chill around here. (*This was in fact a true statement*)
G - But have you done any new things here on Caye Caulker? (*He puts emphasis on the word new*)
D - (*Not seeing where he is trying to go with his question*) Nah man, like I said, we've pretty much just chilled out all week. Taking it easy, you know.
G - (*Gives up on passive steering of the conversation, decides to be more direct*) Have you tried skinny dipping here in Caye Caulker? It's great.
D - (*Now extremely confused, and although still quite tired, realize where he is attempting to bring this*) Um... no. No I haven't.
G - You should, it's great.
D - (*Not really knowing what to say, I then blurt out this wonderfully stupid line*) Um... yeah. I... I can imagine, since the water is so warm and all.
G - (*Making his last direct passive attempt to steer the conversation*) Yeah, you should try it before you leave. But it's too bad, you're leaving tomorrow.
D - (*Now fully aware of my situation, I know exactly what he is trying to get me to say. Things have moved beyond awkward, and I am now very uncomfortable. I begin weighing my options: bed bugs, or aggresively being hit on by a guy trying to get me to skinny dip with him. Bed bugs win by unanimous decision*) (*Leaving no pauses between sentences for him to attempt another conversation steer with*) Yeah, I'm leaving in the morning, that's too bad, anyways man I need to get back to bed, goodnight. (*Acting as if my intent had never been to sleep in the hammock all night long in the first place*)
G - Um, ok. Goodnight.
...
*I hurry away from the dock and back to my room, taking in what had just happened, still quite confused, but knowing it will make for a good story in the morning. My bed still had bugs. After awhile, I look back to the docks and my new friend is gone, but there are too sketchy figures hanging out in the courtyard so I opt not to go back down [the Brit in the courtyard hammock subsequently finds his shoes gone in the morning]. I eventually curl up into a ball on the wicker chair in the kitchen, legs hanging over the end. It is 5am. I need to be up at 6am to catch our water taxi to Mexico. I sleep for an hour. The friends I am travelling to Mexico with enjoy my story in the morning, and the bedbugs still win in the end because, unbeknownst to me, they have climbed onto my backpack and will accompany all the way around the Yucatan Peninsula until I meet Anita in Playa del Carmen*
...
And so ends my exciting adventures on Caye Caulker. Between all the bedbugs and the over-friendly local trying to get me to swim naked with him, I also managed to have a great week full of wonderful food, great new friends, and unbelievable snorkelling. But that doesn't make for as good of a story, so I'll let the pictures do the talking.
The girls go all out on guacamole.
Our captain (in green), and his first-mate "Coconut Harry", who apparently got his name because he lived in a coconut tree for several years, tying himself up at night so he wouldn't fall out. A wonderful snorkelling guide, and a super friendly guy with tons of good stories.
My new Torontonian dreadlocked friend, Oscar.
Manatees in the coral garden. Just another day in Belize I guess.
I swam with sharks too. Cool.
I swam right over top of this ray, and then, out of nowhere, the thought Steve Irwin popped into my head. I proceeded to let the ray swim away.
I never thought I would describe a turtle as 'elegant', until I saw one underwater.
Even with the bedbugs, strange night encounters, and uptight rastafarians (although I should add that for every angry rasta on the island, there had to have been at least ten really nice ones), my time in Caye Caulker was great. Good food, good friends, and great stories.
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